so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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