after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
