YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
