And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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