I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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