woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.