Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.