Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.