Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
