When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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