Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
