new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
