I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
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You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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