Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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