I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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