Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Barsexuality is the new black.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize