Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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