It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I came so hard my ears popped.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
