letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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