check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
