I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize