Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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