It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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