4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
