Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
