I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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