oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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