Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
FUCK WHALES
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
