She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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