THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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