I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
