In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
