I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I will be naked everywhere
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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