Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize