I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
oh god the rape fog is back!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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