and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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