I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
