i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
