but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
