he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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