So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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