ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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