I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
