at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
