I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize