my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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