You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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