Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
