Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
