so that wasnt chicken after all
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
