never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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