When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
