i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
