Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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