best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize