If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
