you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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