whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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