Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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