You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
