Cold hands, warm shart.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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