so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
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Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
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It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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