her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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