I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
