I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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