i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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