Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
