Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
